It’s been recently reported that John Ashcroft believes calico cats are a sign of the devil — and I think he may be right.
Towards the end of August, I began to have dreams about a little fluffy Calico kitten. The dreams became more frequent and I decided we HAD to find this cat. I called around and found out that the local Humane Society had the very kitten I was looking for. So I talked to Reed and he agreed to “go look”. Of course “looking” was a foolish notion, for we knew fully well that once we saw this kitten we’d fall in love and have to take her home. So on August 23rd we adopted Cally Coe, a three month old white calico kitten.
What we didn’t realize is how much this little bundle of joy would begin to give us evidence that the Christians might not be wrong about certain things — namely the existence of the Devil. For you see, with each passing day, we see the evidence that our cat is possessed by Beelzebub himself! Cally seems to “see” things that aren’t really there. She will stare at the ceiling and howl at the top of her lungs. Her father and I are convinced she is seeing demons and communicating with her dark master.
Cally seems to enjoy breaking the “Thou shall not steal” commandment on an hourly basis. I can not leave my hair bands or socks in one place before Cally steals them away. One day I was taking off my socks and I started to drop one of them on the floor. All of a sudden I saw this blur out of the corner of my eye. The sock never reached the floor — Cally managed to steal it in mid-air and ran into the other room with her prize. Other favorite items she takes are pens and pencils — I am convinced she does to prevent us from writing down the phone numbers for local exorcists.
Her next favorite commandment to break is “Honor thy father and mother”. One of Cally’s favorite things to do is to attack daddy’s feet. She leaps out from under the bed like a demon escaping from the mouth of hell, and mercilessly attacks her innocent prey. She also likes to jump up on her parents and meow very loudly in their faces during the wee hours of the morning, knowing full well that the lack of sleep will make them more susceptible to Satan’s will. If we try to ignore her and sleep in, she will run at full gallop around the house, sprinting across the bed over and over again as if to tell us to wake up because her Prince of Darkness is coming!
Yes, our little furball continues to give us evidence she is indeed one of Satan’s hell spawn. In fact I think through her we have witnessed far more proof of Lucifer than most Christians have. Or perhaps it has nothing to do with the supernatural and it’s simply a cat being a cat. I’m not sure — but I should go check on Cally, she’s been too quiet for the past hour. I suspect she doing a Satanic ritual in the dining room.
Hello. My name is Angela Christine Byers (yes, my mother actually named me “Angel of Christ”), and I am an atheist.
Copyright © 1996 - 2002 Angela C. Byers
Email comments to
Angela C. Byers