January 2004

As many of you know I have a rare bone disease in my wrists called Kienbock Disease (KD) — I was diagnosed with it about 11 years ago. It’s one of those diseases that basically no one has ever heard about. It’s estimated that one out of every 250,000 people has KD. About 8 years ago, when the internet began to become popular I posted a single page website titled “Looking for others with Kienbock Disease”. After a few months I heard from around 20 different people who, like me, felt rather alone because they weren’t able to find anyone else with this disease. I began to forward messages between the various folks who replied to me and after a few weeks decided to create an internet emailing group for folks with KD. I’ve been operating the list since 1997 and it’s grown to over 300 members world wide.

In the beginning most folks got along just fine, but you always have a few trouble makers, so I’ve created some rules for the list. One of the problems that seems to arise with such a variety of folks is religion. There are many people of many faiths on the list and in an effort to prevent any sort of argument I’ve asked that religion not be discussed. I have seen MANY email lists self-destruct over religious arguments.

As expected, most folks don’t have a problem with this rule and are happy just to have a place to talk about Kienbock Disease with others. But you always have a handful of folks who can’t stand not to spew their religion onto others. What is interesting is that on the mailing list these people are ALWAYS Christians. I have never had any trouble from any of the Pagans, Moslems, Hindus, Atheists (there are a number of them!) or other religions. It’s always the Christians who scream about “Freedom of Speech” and how I am denying them their “rights”. These people simply refuse to stop making offensive religious statements like “You can’t know love unless you love the Lord”, “Only those who love Christ will have everlasting life” and so on.

Recently, a number of folks simply refused to abide by the no religion rule and after several warnings, they were kicked off the list. For the past couple of months they have continued to send me rather unchristian-like emails. I prepared and sent a response to them. It’s been about two weeks now and I haven’t heard a word from them. Maybe I got through to them? What follows is the message I sent:

Lets say you go to a church and there’s about 300 people there. You’ve been attending this church for a while so you know what’s expected and what rules the people there think are important. One day, during services, you decided to stand up and begin shouting offensive things. I bet the folks there would get pretty upset. Some would “shush” you, others would ask the folks in charge to do something, and there would probably be some who wouldn’t care and would ignore you. I bet the incident would be talked about for some time.

After the incident the church leaders would ask you to not do that again. You tell them you have a “freedom of speech” and have every right to say whatever you want where ever you want. The church leaders try to remind you that there are 300 other folks who are trying to enjoy the services and you are violating their rights to a calm and quiet service.

A few months pass and once again you want to practice your “freedom of speech” and once again stand up in the middle of church services and start shouting offensive things. Now everyone is upset again and the church leaders have no choice but to ask you to not come back. You tell them that you have a right to “freedom of speech” and they are unjustly banning you from church. They try to explain to you that there are 300 other people who have a right to a calm and quiet church service, but you refuse to listen and start sending offensive letters to the church leaders demanding they let you do whatever you want to in church.

There are many “freedoms” in this world and they only work if you respect the freedoms of EVERYONE. Sometimes this means you have to give up your “freedom of speech” in certain places so other “freedoms” can be had. As the old saying goes “You can’t yell fire in a crowded theater” because you could start a panic and someone could get hurt. Freedoms are only good if they are respected by everyone.

The rules of the Kienbock list say that religion (and a few other things) are not to be discussed. This is done in interest of preventing arguments and distractions. If someone continues to violate a rule we have no choice but to kick them off the list. We have 300 other people’s “rights” to consider and the good of the many outweigh the needs of the few (or in this case the one).

You can’t stand up and shout offensive things in the middle of a church service, and you can’t discus religion on the Kienbock List. It’s just that simple. I don’t know why you, or anyone else, has a problem understanding this concept.

I hope that will be the end of the “debate”!

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Angela C. Byers

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