Plans are well under way for the atheist wedding of the year! In case you haven’t heard, Reed (your humble editor) and I are engaged. The big date is July 27, 2002! We’ve got the place rented, the dress picked out and we’ve even got a wedding webpage online: http://www.visitations.com/wedding/
I’ve been an atheist all my life, but I didn’t “come out of the closet” until a couple of years ago. And now with the wedding, my atheism is showing more than ever. At first, I was thinking of toning things down and trying not to mention the atheist/humanist lifestyle I lead — after all I didn’t want to offend anyone. And then I had a talk with the Best Man (CSS member Dan Wilcox) and he gave me some very wise advice that I completely agree with. What he told me was that we atheists attend religious weddings all the time and have to sit through the rituals and religiosity of the ceremony. It is very doubtful that the person who planned the wedding was worried about offending any non-believers, or anyone not of their faith. They made their wedding into a celebration of their life and beliefs. If people truly cared about the couple getting married, they would attend. Dan reminded me that it should be no different for an atheist wedding. We should plan the event around what’s important to us, in this case our atheism and our humanism.
So with that wise council, we began to create a wedding that expresses who we are and what we are about. We’ve announced to the world that this wedding will be of the “Godless Heathen” variety and we ask that folks “check their deities at the door”. A friend and fellow Atheist, Nancy Powell of United States Atheists, will be performing the ceremony. This will be a day of celebrating not only our marriage, but our Secular Humanism as well!
That being done, I foolishly had faith that it would be smooth sailing from then on. Actually, things are going pretty smoothly with the planning. The only real problem I am having is with a few members of my family and I think the root of the problem is our choice for a “Godless Heathen” wedding. Since I “came out of the closet” about my atheism, I seem to be shunned by certain family members, my mother included. (For those who don’t know, my mother is what you would call a fundamentalist Catholic.) I mused with my Stepmom about how my mother never seemed to have too much of a problem with my atheism before. “Yeah,” my Stepmom replied, “but now she actually has to explain it to people.” I laughed and think she’s right. For my mother, it was OK for me to be an atheist, as long as I never mentioned it to anyone else.
I’m afraid I just can’t do that. Since I started speaking out about my atheism, I have become a much happier person. Happier than I can ever remember! I would encourage everyone to speak openly about their atheism/humanism. The more voices we have, the greater the difference we can make.
Hello. My name is Angela Christine Byers (yes, my mother actually named me “Angel of Christ”), and I am an atheist.
Copyright © 1996 - 2002 Angela C. Byers
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Angela C. Byers