Why am I an Atheist?

One of my earliest memories about religion I have is when I was about 7 years old. I recall sitting in church and watching the people go about their rituals. None of it made any sense to me, It's not that I didn't understand what was going on, it just all seemed so silly. Even at that young age the entire "god" idea seemed rather ridiculous to me. I don't ever recall actually believing in any sort of god. I was raised Catholic and my mother had me go through the standard rituals, but I was never comfortable doing any of it. It all seemed very fake and silly.

When it came time for my first communion and "sin" was explained to me, I was appalled at the idea. I was being blamed for something that two people did thousands of years ago! Let's not even mention that no one has any evidence these people every existed in the first place. I was then told that I was a sinner and must confess my sins weekly. A sinner?! I was only 7 years old! Even at that young age I didn't think much of a god who would condemn a child for simple ignorant mistakes they made. Heck -- I was a good kid! I rarely did anything wrong enough to be called a "sin" and when it came time for confession I made up stuff to tell the priest. I was simply going through the motions. It got my mother and others off my back so I figured why not.

When I was about 16 I simply could not continue to "go through the motions" when it came to religion. It felt dishonest. So I told my mother I no longer wanted to go to church. She flipped out and her answer was to attempt to "force" me into going. She didn't ask me why I didn't want to go. She didn't ask me about how I felt about religion, god or the church. All that seemed to matter was what SHE wanted. But I had done what she wanted in regards to religion for 16 years -- never once having been asked what *I* wanted -- and enough was enough. With the support of my father, who insisted to my mother that I was old enough to make up my own mind on the issue, I stopped going to church.

What I did do was begin a 8 year long quest to find out what it was I was looking for. I studied all the major and minor) religions. From Christianity to Buddhism to New Age to Islam -- I studied them all. When I was about 24 I came to the conclusion that none of the religions worked for me. They all required the belief in an invisible magical super being -- that entire idea was simply to silly for me to handle. I tend to be a scientific and logical thinker and the god concept went against everything that seemed logical. So at that point I called myself and agnostic.

In 1999 I got involved with the Secular Humanism movement and finally found what I was looking for! Scientific, logical, rational thinking people who cared about making life for humans better now -- not in some imagined afterlife. People who cared about making sure EVERYONE was treated fairly and ending the religious discrimination that runs rampant in this society. Feeling more confident in my views and more sure about how I felt, I began to call myself an atheist.